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writing 101- Three songs.

Three songs that that are important in my life, that’s difficult to name. I love music; music is my gateway and release. Every song touches me in a way that others wouldn’t even imagine. I have MY favorite songs; songs that even my two year old daughter says are mine. (Country Girl Shake It For Me by Luke Bryan is just ONE of the ones she knows) But music has a way of reaching into my soul, pulling out memories that make me laugh and cry. Memories I wish remained buried and memories I am happy I have. My life has not been the easiest to get through and I am happy I went through it. If it wasn’t for my experiences in life I wouldn’t be who I am today and I am happy with whom I am.

I guess we will start with “Facedown” by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. This song got me through an abusive relationship. It gave me the willpower to get back up and stand up for myself.  It made me feel like I wasn’t alone and that there is help for me to get away. It belittled the abuser and made me feel like I was on top of the world. That someone WILL love me and care about me the way I want to be cared about and should be cared about.

Next will have to be “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder. When my current boyfriend I split up many moons ago we would call each other and have this song play, just leaving it on while it left a voicemail. We knew it wasn’t over but I couldn’t get him to be the man I needed him to be and continue life with. We were engaged to be married but I was fresh out of high school and he was all about the party scene. He already had a son and I was tired of being the baby sitter. He ended up getting into another relationship and was with her for 7 years. Within their first year she was pregnant and then they got married. I was heartbroken. Where we left off is where he picked up with her. Whenever this song came on I would instantly flashback to the song coming on the radio and calling him and having it play. Him is my only vision of this song.

My final song is “God Bless The Broken Road” by Rascal Flatts. It was mine and my boyfriend’s song when we dated many moons ago, holding little meaning then and all the meaning in the world now. He is my soul mate, my first true love, and my only true love. We dated for 4 years off and on throughout my entire high school career. In 2005 he proposed to me in Disney world. It was one of the most magical moments of my entire life. In 2006 I broke up with him. This began a whole new world for me. I became involved with drinking a lot with different people. I was numbing the pain from the void in my heart. Every so often I would look him up and see him happy in a relationship and having kids and it broke me down further, driving me to drink more. I thought I found love, twice. My husband was someone I had known for many years. I thought he was safe. I had been lied to, cheated on, and destroyed. Well, turns out he was not safe, and before we even celebrated being married a year we had already filed for divorce. I then continued to live the single party life when I met my daughters father. He had a son and I tried to use him to fill the void from my ex and his son. Looking pass al flaws that could have been and I can honestly say I did love him. I tried to make it work many many times but having final proof of him cheating led me to leave him in February 2013. In March my ex messaged me on facebook, yup I said that! He asked about how life has been and we talked about our kids and all the new things we have done and work and all that fun stuff. In May I messaged him about Disney trips. My sister and I planned on paying for my parents as a gift and I was trying to get tips as his family goes a lot. In June he put a status up about needing a cigarette. Knowing he quit I messaged him saying no buts, trying to be funny and lighten the mood for him. He messaged me back saying his relationship was over and I gave him tips on how to rekindle it and he said hes tried everything and hes at a loss, all he wants is his family. We messaged back and forth for hours then he asked to call. My heart started racing. I knew it would be over then minute I heard his voice over the phone. Reluctantly I let him call me. We talked and he asked to see me, that he just needs to get away. So he came over and I sat in the van that was their families and listened as he cried about losing his family and that hes at a loss. He said it had been over for months but he didn’t want to lose his family. I said their own happiness will be more beneficial for the kids. If neither are happy in their relationship the kids can sense it and it wont be good for them. If they can work on their relationship and make it work then great, but do not stay for the kids alone. We parted ways for the night and ran into each other the next day at our bank. We ended up going for a drive and talked and laughed for hours. The rest as they say.. is history. But our broken road brought us back together but also gave us the things we needed to appreciate what we have now, helped us find what we want, what we need, to grow up, and experience life. I am happy with where we are in life and that’s where this song fits in my life.

Writing 101- A Room With A View

These assignments in high school or even middle school were always difficult for me.  I was in the military I traveled a lot.  Are there places I would love to go back to? Sure. How about places with my family who even now I rarely see? Hell yeah. But more or less my room with a view is something a little more permanent.  So.. Here goes nothing. A room with a view…

Its 5am, walking up the stairs sweat glistening off my body as I just finished my hour workout.  Hop in the shower and wash the stress from yesterday away along with the sweat from beating it out.  Wrap my hair in a towel and slide on sweatpants and a tank top.  Walk down stairs past the living room, down the hall, putting a coat back on the hook that must have fallen off at some point in the night and head to the kitchen. The sun is shining through the bare windows from the back yard. I place my hand on the cool handle to the stainless steel fridge and pull out the coffee grounds and fill the Keurig K cup. Take the mug I got from my visit to England to see family for my 18th birthday. Give a little smirk as I recall the memories with my mum and gran. Stare out the window and take a deep breath and bask in the sunlight with the view of no snow and spring within reach. Make note of the baskets that need to be filled with flowers. I pull out some eggs and cut up some peppers and begin making omelets as I start hearing pitter-patter of little feet coming from the roof above me. I take a sniff of coffee and inhale the fresh aroma. Take a sip and as I look up from my cup there is my daughter with a smile on her face.

“Good morning baby”

“good morning mummy”

She sits in her seat and I place her breakfast in front of her. Sit at the table next to her admiring her beauty and inhale in the fact that I made that. I begin looking around our eat-in kitchen. A theme, what could we put in here? Sunflowers! That will go great with the sun shining in every morning. What about the living room, colors, I want warmth and relaxation. Blues and greens are supposed to be calming. But do I really want blues and greens in MY living room? Wow. I cant believe I just said that. MY living room. This is MY house. I did this. I did it by myself after EVERYTHING I have been threw. My roots are planted here and this is where my daughter will grow up. There is a lot of work to do but it’s mine. NO its not mine. It’s ours. Our home where we will never have to leave and she will grow up and have all these memories, memories I never had. That’s my only wish for my daughter and I did it.

Can you tell what I am getting at? Did I give enough details for the room I am describing?

writing 101- free the mind

20 minutes starts now. At 1143 where I just freely write the thoughts that come to my mind. This may be easy for some but for me it is quite a chore. I don’t have “time” to think. I don’t have time to just go. I work full time in a phone room for financial aid at a state university.  The calls are constant and often lengthy. As I write this I will probably be interrupted at least 15 times.  So why not write at home you may wonder. I am a single mother of a toddler. I pick my daughter up and we travel home singing nursery rhythms and dance like crazy fools.  I get home and make dinner. Put my little one into the shower to get cleaned up then cuddles and stories before I put her to bed. Then comes the cleaning and a wind down for mama with mindless (interruption one) tv. I suppose this is when I should write but I just think about all the chores that need to be done, bills that need to be paid, activities that I want to do with my daughter.  So I lay in bed and that’s when all these things run threw my mind.  I think about waking up an hour earlier to work out. But the alarm clock goes of and I decide I need to sleep  more.  I used to write all the time. Poetry was my favorite. Free write in a sense as well. I tried pulling out some of my old books to be inspired but I just sat there. Staring at a blank page or the key board looking (interruption number two) for something to jump out at me.  “Inspire me” I yell at the keys in my head. Why cant I be inspired by anything. (interruption three, four, and five which was 10 minutes in itself)… Where was I…. Oh yes… Inspire me…. Easier said than done.  Free writing write now, interruptions and all seems to be a freeing experience…. (interruption 6) Now do I call it quits since my 20 minutes are up or do I take into account that I was interrupted…

I think for now… I will call it quits…

Photography 101- Windows and square

Todays Assignment is glass and square.  The view threw glasses gives a sense of mystery.  What is the person seeing? How are they interpreting the same scene you see?

Hi this is me.. You can kind of see what I am looking at in the reflection of my sunglasses.

Here is what I am looking at.  The sun shining over one of my favorite places…

It reminds me of Stonehenge in England.  Which is where my family is from. I have been many years ago. 10 years ago… yikes!

The square part of the assignment.  I kinda get why its something to be reviewed. It creates the focal point.  Removes all background distractions.  Instagram is known for their square posts.  I dont like them.. I feel like the photo loses part of it..

what are your thoughts?

Photography 101- Treasure and close up

Todays assignment is Treasure and Close up.

My treasure is my family so here is a close up of one of my favorite art projects we have done.

Its mine and my boyfriends hands(brown) for the tree trunk.  Our combined four kids hand prints make up the leaves.  We did this on canvas and we did all four seasons.  I love it. The winter is my favorite because I mixed the shades of blue with glitter. The handprints will stay with us for ever!!!

All four seasons.

 

 

 

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